Wow a month since my last blog :/
As always i come on here with little mind to what I'll be writting, but plough ahead anyway, here goes!
Well I feel that I'm actually avoiding blogging for fear of constantly moaning about TTC. Also avoiding baby and breastfeeding forums that I previously loved and attending baby cafe were I help out new mums.
My last cycle was 60 days long. I only took 3 tests and only spent one week getting excited thinking 'we MUST have done it this time! I have all the symptoms!' only to get my period. Yes I did cry. I'd promised my self I wouldn't get my hopes up and I managed 53 days of just not thinking, worrying or obsessing, but that last week I was on Actively Trying Groups, everyday comparing my 'symptom' with others, the mind can be terribly cruel.
This month I'm receiving holistic help, I'm looking forward to getting my MGG full buckle carrier! I'm buying Christmas presents. I'm going to walk more and lose he weight I put on in the last 2 weeks from self pity eating, lol!
I'm going to make more of an effort to write the amazing things that Gosling does, because she is a wonder to behold, they all are, her and her friends, they're growing up so fast!
This last month I've really seen them all interacting (mostly ending in tears, lol!) but its really great hearing Gosling communicating so well, especially with her dad, it really helps them to bond as he isn't as patient as I am and is easily stressed (mainly because his all ready stressed, work!) so now she can put across clearly what she wants its easier for him to respond how she needs! Its heart warming to hear them play together in the mornings and evenings.
I'd love for them to have more time together but with work and his cars time is mostly taken, sometime in the near future I hope work will have finally changed for the better and with the stress levels down, the cars will be sold or in a state where they can be left while we spend more family time. We've had a fair share of problems with how money/time/stress is being managed and this month the stress levels have been rocketing up and down. Its been hard sometimes thinking about carrying on in a high stress situation, wondering if maybe things will always be that bad and how on earth we'll cope with another child.
But, even though I'm moaning on here, I am looking to the future, I know in 10 years we'll have another child, and look back at these years as the difficult years. Trying to conceive, raising babies, young children, house to work on, mortgage to pay, job being stressful and uncertain, but we stuck it out and it was worth it. I see so many people thinking that hard spells are a time to end relationships, its hard to find a relationship that's made it through hard times and survived positively.
We keep mind to that fact we have the same goals, same wants, and we love each other and our little family. Its a working process of trail an error and compromise.
'Fingers crossed' as they always say on the' AT' groups, FC for a baby, a steady job and a happy family.
